Working Mother

I did some reflecting this weekend, in between trying to comfort a fussy, teething baby, about how I've chosen to mother my child. I'm pleased to say that I haven't had to compromise much of what I wanted for my daughter.

Originally, while I was still pregnant, I new I wanted to breastfeed my daughter as long as I possibly could. I went into her birth knowing I would, but still bought a few cans of formula "as a back-up". I tried her on formula twice in the first few weeks. Since then, she has been exclusively been breastfed or drinking expressed breastmilk during daycare. My first goal was 3 months - and it came and went, then 6. My next goal is 9 months. I broke up my goals to give me some short-term milestones to reach and to congratulate myself with. My ultimate goal is 1 year at which time I'll wean her onto cow's milk during the day and probably nursing at night and for comfort for a few more months after that (or as long as my supply lasts).

I really have no desire to nurse her into toddlerhood (although I applaud women who do), it's just really not my thing. Pumping has been very hard and very demanding and I really do look forward to hanging up my pump horns. I savor the times when I nurse Natalie, although she's more than often fussy and squirmy, which makes it hard to have that magical bonding time. We rarely have a quiet, peaceful nursing session. Through it all, though, I know I'm giving my best for my child and I haven't had to compromise my wishes and desires for her.

The same is true now with baby food. My daycare provider really started me on this one. She makes all her own baby food. I figured if I was putting forth the effort to breastfeed her because it was so much better for her, then why would I want nothing less for her once she started whole food? Again, making her food is demanding of my time, but I can see already the rewards. Natalie is learning what food actually tastes like instead of eating jarred food that tastes nothing like the real thing (everyone remember that horrid game of "guess the baby food" played at baby showers?). I'm hoping that this will help her gain healthy eating habits and have her eating a wider range of foods into toddlerhood and beyond.

I realized the demand these things take on my time this weekend. When I wasn't comforting a fussy baby I was pumping (because she wasn't eating well) or making baby food to freeze when I really wanted to just sit down and read a book. I'm exhausted, but my baby has a full belly - my milk and wholesome food in the freezer and she's HAPPY.

So... I am able be a working mother AND still be able to provide for my daughter without compromising. Are there other things I could do like cloth diapering, etc...? Sure... but I'm exhausted. I've made my list of my absolutes and I have to make peace that these things will be enough.