Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Return of an Old Relative

Dear Aunt Flo,

It was such a surprise to see you this afternoon. Don't you know that it's terribly rude to show up unannounced after, oh... 16 months?!

I can't say I didn't really miss you all that much. And yes, I'm aware that since you've missed me very much during this time, you'll more than likely be VERY ANNOYING during your visit.

Your return means my baby will have less to eat, will have a less tolerant mommy for a few days a month, and all that money I've been saving on formula will have to go to feminine products.

You bitch.

Your unexpected visit explains a lot. My supply has been low, my boobies have been sore and my muscles have been achy.

While I thank GOD that you haven't visited during the past 16 months, I hope that your return each month is short and rather uneventful.



Emily said... Best Blogger Tips

I hope I get that much of a break!

Permission to Mother said... Best Blogger Tips

You're hilarious.


Danibee said... Best Blogger Tips

My husband actually said "can't you call Dr. Punger to see if there's some kind of hormone you can take?". What a sweet guy.

I guess I should be thankful it's stayed away this long. I'm just sad at this milestone - turning back into a woman's body from a mother's body. It means my baby is growing up - too fast.

Permission to Mother said... Best Blogger Tips

Since he asked for my advice, I'll give it! Try a divacup or lunapads. :) You might have less cramps.

Danibee said... Best Blogger Tips

I've been thinking about divacup. I tried "Insteads" a long time ago and sort of liked it.

My problem is really hard periods... I get ovarian cysts at the drop of the hat if I'm not on the pill and have a really really really hard period.

I'm not looking forward to this returning. I'm hoping I can hold off until she's weaned to start on the pill.

Trish Chibas said... Best Blogger Tips

This is to funny! You poor thing. I got mine a month after Brianna was born. It's just not fair!

Lauren said... Best Blogger Tips

I totally love my Diva Cup! My periods are really heavy, too. I haven't had any problems with leaking like I did with tampons. It took a few trys to get it inserted, but it's easy now. I don't even have to use a pad as a back up. I empty it 3x per day.

Funny post, BTW!