I'm in here... uh... busy

This is the sign that hangs on my door when I'm pumping.

I'm lucky - I have my own office with a door and a LOCK! People shove papers under the door for me when needed and they're aware that if they call me on the phone, they will hear the rythmic gugshing of my pump in the background.

3 times a day, I pump so my little Nati has food for tomorrow. I've learned some very important things about pumping:

1. Medela Quick Clean Wipes are the best $18.00 I'll ever spend
2. Lansinoh helps keep my pump horns on by themselves so I can be hands-free
3. Leaving my pump in the office all week saves trips back and forth to my car
4. Playing online video games stimulates my let-down (so do cold pump horns)
5. Pumping makes me still feel like a Mommy when I'm at work

Pumping and Breastfeeding is hard work. Worrying about what bottles are best for her, how much she should be eating, getting no sleep at night because she's still being breastfed, getting those looks from coworkers when I close my door.

Would I do it all over again if I had the choice?

You bet your sweet pump horns I would.

Big Girl

My big girl is learning to sit up! Here she is at 4 months, 3 weeks. I was fooling with my manual settings on my camera so most of the pics are grainy. I need to stop doing that, as a lot of my photos showing her milestones are not very good quality.

Baby Mine

This song is in my heart right now and I've been singing it Natalie.

I miss her during the day so much. She's growing so fast these past few weeks. She's starting to scoot on her belly, starting to sit by herself, she's showing some definate personality.

My favorite thing right now is when I wake up in the morning and she's already awake in her crib. I stand over the side and when she looks over to notice me she grins SO WIDE. It's the biggest smile I see on her all day. It makes it so special because that smile is just for me.

My other favorite thing is in the shower at night. I hang her washcloth on a little towel rack in the shower. She'll adamantly reach for the washcloth, then when she gets it, she will wet it under the shower then put it in her mouth to suck on. It's so neat to see her doing things on her own. This one, for some reason, really strikes me.

Birthday Pressie

Oh.. and I got my birthday present in the mail on Thursday!

Here's my Nati on my necklace. The quality is amazing and photos don't come CLOSE to doing it justice. I got it from Kimbra Studios.

Yes, I know... I don't have a head... but my head isn't the purpose of this post, the beautiful necklace is. And if I had left my head in the photo, you wouldn't have seen the necklace. Sorry... can't have it all!

Happy Mother's Day

Aah what a hectic day. Nati decided she wanted to celebrate Mother's Day with me early... like 3:00 am early. She hasn't been sleeping well for the past few days, most nights waking up every hour. She's wearing me out quickly.

I slept in until 7:00, and when I woke up, Christian and Anilyse came in to give me hugs and kisses and wish me "Happy Mother's Day". What wonderful step-children I was blessed with that they don't even think twice when it comes to Mother's Day.

(Side story - Anilyse keeps asking me if I breastfed her when she was a baby. She was bearly 2 years old when I first met her, so she doesn't remember a time when I wasn't there.)

They both picked out beautiful cards for me and Mike got me some software to do some video editing.

I took care of Nati who was incredibly fussy and managed to jump in the shower quickly before I rounded up the kids to head to Mom's house to spend some time with her.

Nati had my Mom pick up a beautiful Mother/Daughter figurine for me and a very sweet card, and Mom got me a new dress. Mom and I and Nati went shopping (to return the dress - it didn't fit right) while Mike took the kids home to take naps. It was nice to spend some time with her.

After nap, we went to Mike's family get-together. I had spent the morning and early afternoon preparing food for the get-together. 3 racks of baby-back ribs and a desert.

The geet-together was nice, but Nati was very fussy. Mike was cooking all the time and I wrestled with her all evening while trying to keep an eye on the kids.

We got home at 8:00, hopped Nati and I into the shower, put her to bed and collapsed on the couch.

So much for a restful Mother's Day. I know what I'm asking for next year - a nap!

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

-Author Unknown

Bessy needs to up her game

Ok... today scared me.

Nati's daycare provider had to delve into her frozen stash I gave her. Nati ate every 2 hours today for a grand total of 18 ounces between 7:00 am - 5:00 pm.

Keep in mind, I only pump 14 - 16 ounces during this time.

*gulp*

I'm hoping I'm not spotting a new trend here. I could see this coming. Nati would be starving by the time I picked her up from daycare for the past few weeks. She's nursing ALL evening and night. My saving grace during the week would be the one day when she would take an extra long nap and not take all 4 bottles that day.

I have some freezer stash, but not enough to make up the void long-term.

I'm just praying that she backs off a bit, as formula is NOT an option.